Letter to my Body- An overdue apology
I sat down to write today, there were things I wanted to say, and this is the poem that I wrote as my heart began to speak.
We spend our earlier years forgoing our body, mind and spirit, and our later years recovering and piecing things together again from the inner and outer damage we do- or that is cast upon us by the hand and heart of other’s.
This is a poem: “letter to my body” to say sorry, and to forgive myself for all the times I mistreated my body- my heart, and my soul. I was going to save it for publication at a later date- but now is as good a time as any! This poem is in my new book of poetry Beating Hearts and Butterflies.
I hope some of these words resonate with whoever reads this article, Chrissy.
Letter to my Body © 2018 Christine Evangelou
I am sorry for all the times I mistreated you
When I was so very young and drank too much
When all I wanted to do was escape the reality that strangled my hope
And tangled me in its painful touch
When I filled your lungs with smoke,
Wanting to grow older way too quickly
Without fully appreciating the innocence of my youth,
Because I was so sad, indignant that no one else did
When I starved you of what you needed
So I could fill a certain size
And control my inner web of sorrow
Because I lost the presence of my uniqueness
Through someone else’s eyes and lies
And I did not permit you the rest you so dearly needed to mend
I kept you up late at night, and filled my mind with worry and dread
When I placed you in precarious positions
With people that did not value the beauty of what you held inside
And when I rejected that same value to you myself
By laying in beds with people that were strangers to my heart,
And some were like parasites to my soul
That rambled through my veins and trampled on my bones
I am sorry that I mistreated you,
When I abandoned myself,
Betrayed you for a friend or a lover’s attention
And the ones who marked my soul
May still look to the vault of heaven for their redemption
I took chances with you without contemplating consequences
And I loved others more than I loved myself
As I strolled around without a shield,
With open arms and splitting wounds
On love’s sweet battlefield
And now I am wiser
I see through my own unhealthy ways
And I will do my best to now honour you,
And cherish you, dear body
For all the love I had so wrongly misplaced
Love is love without an agenda, it is unconditional, forgiving, and stands on the shoulders of faith, hope and compassion. There is much to unpack and expand upon within the tiny word that is “love”.
Pure love is a higher love, and we cannot extend it outwardly until we recognize and truly appreciate it inwardly and nourish it as best we can- day by day.
Thank you for reading, Chrissy 🙂