In Acceptance of Being Real and Expressing your Pain
“Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness’s of other people”- Carl Jung
In Acceptance of Being Real and Expressing Your Pain
None of us are immune to pain and difficult circumstances. We are as much united in pain as we are in love. Love and pain are both intrinsically connected feelings and emotions, and both are powerful and transformative in their own right. Because we are all vulnerable and naked in pain, and in love. This is the subtle essence of our divinely knit human nature. Pain and love both have the capacity to break our hearts wide open to the truth of who we are. And that is a scary thing, it is a journey into deep waters.
Most importantly, there needs to be a safe place for people to express their sorrow. And also for others to show compassion for anyone caught in the shadows of pain.
Love and Light vs Pain and Darkness
The sad truth is that expressing love and light is far more acceptable than showing pain and darkness. The overload of ‘keep it positive’ has left us reluctant to speak our hearts sadness. The pressure of perpetual positivity damages the beauty of our humanness. Humanness is found through a wide spectrum of emotion that involves both seemingly negative feelings as well as positive. Being real means embracing and being respectful to both.
We find it difficult to talk about the depths of our pain for many reasons and we very often fall silently to our feet and alone within it. And yet being real means acting in full acceptance of all our pain rather than hiding or denying it. Because being real means showing our vulnerable side.
The way out of pain is through it- by uncovering it from darkness and understanding its purpose on your unique path. We find comfort in words and lyrics from others that have opened up about their pain and dark times. Sentences form pictures in our minds and relay us back to what we have within that is calling to be healed, and we remember we are not alone.
You can only heal a broken heart through allowing it to open again; a closed heart remains a wounded heart. Many battles may be lost but you are not broken and you are not your wounds- Christine Evangelou/Stardust and Star Jumps
Shifting the Veil
When we remove the veil from pain, it offers a platform for grief and sadness to be shared. And being done so without the stigma of being negative or a “toxic” person attached to it. Our pain makes us human and means we are real; it makes us aware of our own fragility and the subtleness of our inner being. We can never be positive 100% of the time and if we seek to outwardly show that then essentially it is based on an inherent lie in some dark corner within. Being real means accepting both the light and dark sides of all we are, a multi-dimension of beauty.
It is only through understanding and accepting our own darkness that we can be a friend to others during theirs. We may find many to celebrate with in times of joy but it’s when we need a companion to sit with us in darkness that is the true test of friendship.
Ultimately, pain and darkness needs an emotional recognition and outlet. As you seek a way for it to flow through you, it can no longer contain or cage you. Through an acceptance and acknowledgment of the hurt, a healing process begins.
Designed to Feel
Innately we are compassionate and empathetic beings. We are made to feel. Denying deep emotions only represses and suffocates them into a potentially darker space. We should not feel the need to apologise for our sadness or deny it exists to please others. Once we can begin to express darker emotions and give them a voice, we can transition the harm, sadness, anger, grief and upset to another place. A place in which the destruction it causes within you finds a breathing space. A place where pain subsides to and where it no longer governs you, but empowers you instead. Remember that you are never alone in your pain.
“We think we need to be ‘positive’ all the time and so we numb down the thoughts and feelings that are deemed ‘negative’ by our external conditioning. It is scary to strip ourselves back and tear down the walls of lies, lack and limits we built our adult lives upon. Yet it is only by courageously searching through the dungeons of our elemental darkness that we can find our supreme light.”- Christine Evangelou/Rocks Into Roses
As human beings, we are always made stronger through the dark roads and storms of pain. Being real is the most positive and loving act of kindness to yourself. We can search our hearts and souls to find the purpose and the beauty in the pain.
We can show up for ourselves as we show up for others to help them transition to happier times. This is being real, and what it means to be human.
To remain stable is to refrain from trying to separate yourself from a pain because you know that you cannot. Running away from fear is fear, fighting pain is pain, trying to be brave is being scared. If the mind is in pain, the mind is pain. – Alan Watts