3 Things I Learned From My Failures

Posted on March 12, 2019

Shifting the perspective on failure

Failure can be a beautiful thing when we switch our perspective on how we view it. Think about all the people that you admire or look up to. I can almost guarantee that you see in them something that resides deeply within you. This may be an amazing sense of passion, resiliency, purpose, an unwavering belief within themselves, the ability to make something good out of something bad or challenging- the list can go on and on. Ultimately, we all have the ability to make good on our seemingly bad choices, failures and difficulties. We only need to open our heart to every experience and trust that what we have or had chosen had its purpose at that time.

We become stuck in our failures for many reasons and we lose belief and confidence in ourselves. And yet the only way through our failures is to absorb the lesson that lays within the experience through acceptance and accountability. It’s easy to blame others for misleading us, manipulating a situation, or guiding us down a dark road but we cannot make something great out of our failings until we take 100% responsibility for them, or at the very least, stand up and take accountability for how we get through it.

A breakthrough is commonly preceded by a breakdown. Don’t be too concerned about what your healing looks like to the outside world. Heal from your failures in a way that is true to your uniqueness as a person, and as an authentic, evolving soul.

Here are 3 things I learned from my failures

Acceptance

Acceptance is not the piece of cake it is cut out to be. It is not an effortless or elementary thing to do. We see many guru’s, spiritual teachers and Godly guides that seem to epitomize acceptance, love and light. But… it is a messy route to get there and not something that we should shame or shove ourselves into. And how do we know that what we are seeing is true? People want us to see only what they want us to see. We should not undermine our own sense of self by feeling that we don’t measure up to the streams of spiritual goodness, pedestals of cosmic wisdom and enlightenment that we see around us.

Bring acceptance back home to you. Find what is implicitly true and real for you and heal your heart by immersing yourself into your own soul and inner wisdom first and foremost.

“Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes you’ll put up a good fight and lose. Sometimes you’ll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go. Acceptance is a small, quiet room.”- Cheryl Strayed

I learned:

That I could not transcend anything that I could not first wholeheartedly accept.
That I could not inspire change within any other person until I could first inspire change within myself.
My healing is my responsibility, no matter what harm or wrong doing was done by another person or circumstance.
That in order to accept- I needed to bring myself into the full weight, burden, and sorrow of that experience- to feel it all and not be a stranger to my own spirit.
That I am strong enough and resilient enough to absorb the failure and arise with greater wisdom and insight from it.
That I do not need to earn my own or another persons love, validation or acceptance. I am a whole person, a spirit, a soul, and I am worthy of what I dream and envision for myself.

Forgiveness

We have become so good at foolishly skipping over the true power and peace that forgiveness provides. To forgive and show love and compassion toward ourselves rather than feeding further guilt and blame into our heart-space is what it means to be human. To be real, and feel a sense of what unconditional love is made of. If we cannot forgive ourselves for our own whims and failings then how can we ever forgive anyone else? Mercy is a mountainous task. None of us are perfect and we will fail ourselves and others many times, how do we get past that?

Understanding, compassion and empathy moves us forward. Importantly, it all begins with each of us as individuals embracing our humanness and allowing ourselves and others the freedom to make mistakes. We will mess up- but it’s how we transform that heaviness and hurt that truly matters.

“Perfection’ is an illusion and we all make mistakes; you must allow yourself the freedom to make mistakes and bad judgements and glimmer wiser through them. We are not meant to live in insulation, within the confines of a box, or beneath a protective shell, so this means that errors are all a part of the human experience, and you strengthen yourself through it all and finding your own peace in forgiveness.” – Christine Evangelou, Stardust and Star Jumps

I learned and am learning:

That forgiveness is not something you or anyone else can, or should try to force upon you, guilt or shame you into.
That healing is a deeply personal process. It is a journey that is undertaken toward inner peace by opening your heart and embracing your experiences as tools for growth and evolution.
That forgiving does not make anything right, it does not take the hurt away. However, it does enable you to breathe again as you learn to let go and break the chains that shackle you to the doors of the past.
That I cannot forgive anyone or anything until I look within my heart to first forgive and love myself wholly. And without condition.

Rebirth, Restart, Revive, Resurrect

Every failure sows the seeds of success- it’s a somewhat “cheesy” line…but it is true. You can learn many times how to do something the wrong way and the painful process of this inspires the right way to take shape. When we put failure into context, it’s not as damning as it can very often feel. To fail is frustrating. We carry the wounds of defeat deep into our heart but we can only move past failures by shifting our perspective, redirecting, and trying again. How many world renowned inventors, scientists, physicists and trail blazers can you think of that repeatedly crashed and failed? There are too many to mention! But note how they persisted and persevered because they truly believed in their purpose and their cause. Failure was their foundation for success.

We all have the ability to inspire a rebirth, restart, revive, and resurrect into something else. Something new, something masterful, something that is aligned with the elemental truth of our physical existence and spiritual flame. Failure is not something that should stop you in your tracks. It is something to humbly shock you into a different direction.

Failure is not the end of the line, it does not mean “stop” or give up, it means, take a break, reflect, gain clarity, redirect your energy and try again- Christine Evangelou

I learned:

That I am not my failures and I am not my circumstance.
That rock bottom is a clean slate, a place of nothingness where I can begin again.
That failure is mentally, physically and emotionally draining. But spiritually it is intriguing, and can inspire a deeper meaning and purpose to my life journey.
That nothing can ever hold me back unless I choose for it to do so.
That as long as I trust my intuition and follow my heart- I can never truly lose.
That failure is a humbling experience.

You can never know how powerful you are unless you envelop yourself into the full experience of life. It’s a journey that will include many defeats, challenges and arduous treads through adversity. The beauty lies in finding a way through, surrendering to what is so you can intelligently create what’s to come, seeking your own truth, and having the courage to always try again and inspire a new way forward.

We forge ahead when we invest in ourselves by bravely pouring our full heart into what we do and what we choose to share. Don’t let your failures or external influences disrupt the flow from your heart and what it is naturally, and divinely drawn toward. We can deceive our mind, but not our heart.

I hope you found this article helpful, please share if you liked it! Thanks, Chrissy 🙂